Good Morning! Join me in Gladness!
I am happy today to be starting a new Blog that supports my current passion: exploring successful aging (aka growing upward!) and caring for others in this big transition. This has been my life's journey for the last several years. Who knew it would emerge as a Life Purpose? Sure Enough! So, here goes...please bear with me as I navigate Blog World. I am inexpert as I can be. But I am filled with enthusiasm. Hopefully, we will find it is working okay for all of us!
This morning I want to open a conversation about one of the most helpful tools in the senior citizen's life kit: ADAPTABILITY!
Life Transitions, (i.e. parenting, illness and aging) do not come with instruction manuals.
You can prepare and prepare but I PROMISE growing older will throw you some curve balls and unless you meet them with a flexible attitude you will very likely "hit the wall" at some point in your aging process.
"Hitting the Wall" is the point where the obstacles you face are greater than your ability to surmount them on your own. You slam into them and it hurts!
If you are very lucky there will be people around to help you when you arrive at this moment.
If you are smart you will embrace them lovingly! Appreciate their help in whatever form it is offered!
Lots of people arrive at the wall and find that they are less lucky or smart than they had previously believed. Blam!
Without mentioning names I will share some examples of this from my real life adventures among the aging ones in my circle. I call them "the oldies" without being at all disparaging! It is short for "oldies but goodies". This generation, currently in their 80's, 90's and even 100's, is generally smart, strong, healthy and fun. But that wall really is hard on them when they hit it. These folks have always been able to solve their own problems and ride the waves of adversity. Now they just fail. It is awful-for them and for the ones that love them.
A couple I know have been fortunate enough to live a very full life with abundant resources, health, travel and friends. In their late 80's and early 90's now, they lived independently with pretty minimal difficulty. Then she had a botched cataract surgery. Then he had a small stroke. Then her knees began to cause her trouble. Then he fell and was left with severe, intractable back pain and worsening balance issues. His hearing failed. His driving became more and more erratic until he finally had to give it up (but not without a fight). Then they had a natural disaster: a flood which caused lots of property damage and required that they deal with lots of complex insurance, contractor, bank, housing.... myriad issues. In the space of two years their combined ability to do life on their own terms had really begun to falter. The stress of these horrible events bore down on both of them and their overall health declined faster and farther. She was hospitalized with digestive ulcers, weight loss and anemia. He has also lost a lot of body mass. They have periods of confusion.
It has become painful to watch their ongoing struggle to just barely function. Yet, despite the urging of well-meaning family and friends, they resist adaptation. They promised each other long ago that they would never live in a "nursing home" so they will not consider any senior living options. The house could be rearranged so that moving from area to area is safer and easier but she will not allow any of her treasures to be moved out or stored and she likes having things the way they are. They have stopped listening because their hearing is bad. They are mad at their situation. They are mad at each other and mad at the rest of us for being unable to work around their self-imposed limitations. People that love them both are frustrated, even mad at them sometimes because they just won't bend.
Now, another lady I knew did things differently. When she found in her late 80's that she wasn't able to continue living on both stories of her lovely house she converted her den into a living room/bedroom and closed the upstairs to reduce costs and maintenance. When she found she couldn't trust her own driving she sold her car and celebrated her freedom from the cost of insurance, gas and maintenance by employing taxis and taking rides from friends for her transportation. Eventually, she moved to an assisted-living apartment near her daughter and family where a few years later she passed away happily surrounded by the ones she loved. Her later years were lived gently. Sweetly. Because she bent in the wind. She let changing circumstances shape her life. She adapted.
So. There is a lot more to say on this topic and there are a bunch of other topics in the arena of advancing years that I want to talk about here. But for now I will close on this one little thought: to do anything well we need to practice. At whatever stage you are right now on your life's journey you can begin to practice adaptability. The better you get at bending, the better shape you will be in as you go on!
Make it a good day, count your blessings and give thanks to the One who sent you here. Til next time,
Lisa, Living Live
